At the beginning of the day we’re all searching for a reason to smile, to wake up knowing we’re here for a significant reason, a irreplaceable reason. A reason that sends electric shocks of love and excitement down into the very core of our soul. A reason to feel connected, to feel seen, to feel heard, to be acknowledged by ourselves and the world around us. We let out a big yawn, rub the moon dust out of our eyes, and raise our arms as far above our head as possible. The minute we awaken consciously we’re searching for any reason to jump out of bed and immerse ourselves into a dance of fulfillment for the day we have ahead. We know we’re not meant to wake up, wishing we didn’t have to, throwing the covers over our head asking ourselves “is this even worth it”. We know we’re not meant to sit there having an internal conservation convincing ourselves we have to get up, we have to get going, or else we will be late, or else we won’t make enough money. We know we’re not meant to crawl out of bed blindly walking to the coffee for relief from the insipid nature of the life we’ve been living. That’s why it feels so unfulfilling, why you are met with so much resistance in waking up and in going to work in your every day life. We think we have to- we think this is the way we survive. However, the thing we fail to acknowledge is we were not placed on this circling blue orb in the middle of space to simply just survive. We don’t have to be miserable to have our needs met, we have simply been programmed to only believe this- to believe there is only one way- to believe that is it.
In reality we are all worlds within the vastness of the Universe that responds to the frequency of our inner selfs. When we feel resistance to life, to waking, to living it is because our frequency is off- our internal compass doesn’t match our external destination. The paths do not align- but instead of admitting this, you stay. You continue to wake up and pull yourself out of bed, continue to drink the coffee in hopes that one day it’ll make you excited about your job, maybe you even continue to numb your reality with drugs/alcohol, you continue to tell yourself this is how you survive. You never ask yourself “how do I do more than just survive?”. You never listen to what your internal compass is trying to guide you to. You never tune into what it really is that lights you up. The capabilities of your life are only as limited as your mind. For when you are your own planet, a whole entire world within itself, you understand the power you have to change your world. When you begin to understand that you were never meant to only have one option, you were never meant to just get by, you were never meant to be forced, you understand that you yourself have placed the limits and cages around you. Imagine- what would allow you to wake up excited? What would allow you to dance freely in the morning light without a drop of coffee so energized you feel the tingling vibration from your head to your toes? What would allow you to wake up in love? What would allow you to wake up feeling seen, heard, acknowledged by you and therefore in the world? The truth is, when the alarm goes off and you press snooze wishing for one more hour, it isn’t sleep you need; it’s more play, it’s more dancing, it’s more creating, it’s more laughing, it’s more connection, it’s more freedom, it’s more love.
When you feel stuck and you are seeking change within your world, your action is required. No one is coming to save you, no one is coming to choose you, no one is coming to change your life. You are your lifesaver, you need to choose yourself, you are the only one that can change your life. If you are fed up with clocking into that caged in 8-5 every day, if you are fed up in that relationship while dreaming for something more, if you are lonely, if you are broke, you are the change, you are the action that is needed in your life. We often ask for change and then when it’s waves move towards us, we run away out of fear. We have this idea that comfortable is safe, secure, and predictable. However, when you want change you have to embrace the unknown, you have to go where you have not gone before, you have to eliminate fear and run right into it, and you have to get uncomfortable. Thus, baby steps usually help us to ease into the process of change, small steps are still forward motion, and once you create forward motion it continues.
So what can you do right now today to welcome change into your life? Well, change your routine, switch it up, break the cycle of your daily endeavors, your habits, and more.
How you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of your day, for the rest of your life. How you start your day could change the rest of your life. Most of us use our phones as alarms these days. Make sure your phone is not next to your bed. This allows you to get sound sleep without wanting to check that notification and this way you won’t be inclined to hit the snooze button as conveniently. Start setting your morning alarm five minutes earlier than you have to be up and change the alarm tone to your favorite song. You’ll wake up wanting to keep the alarm going rather than hitting snooze. Who know’s you might end up having a full on dance party first thing in the morning. Continue to change your alarm to your favorite songs so that it doesn’t get repetitive, this is when we get stuck and it no longer has the same affect on us. Grab a journal, or voice outloud ten things you are grateful for. Don’t think, just say or write them down; whatever comes to you first. We often forget how lucky we truly are. Be thankful for that cozy bed you have, those smooth sheets, the ability to breath, to see, to hear, to move your body, for the people in your life; whatever comes to you let yourself feel the gratitude within you. Starting your morning off on a positive note and noting all that you DO have puts your mindset in a positive frame, which carries into the rest of your day. When you start your day by complaining, thinking of all the negative reasons why you shouldn’t get up, that is what you carry with you throughout the day. So you have to flip the script.
Give yourself time in the morning to take your time. When we are in a rush, our minds are often stuck there the rest of the day. Give yourself time to fill your morning with what you love the most, whether that be a walk with your dog, your favorite breakfast, or your favorite song, include something you love in your morning routine and give yourself the time to enjoy this fully.
Make Fear Your BFF
We often are scared to admit that we want a partnership. We are told to be independent and confident on our own. We deny that we want a partner, we make jokes about it, and we push away people when they want to set us up. We deny that we hate our job and turn our head to the fact that we always wanted to be in music, photography, or content creation. We walk in the opposite direction of what we are wanting and continue with what already is out of fear. We continue to stay with the partner that is less than we want out of fear that what we are looking for is not out there. We stay with the partner out of fear that we might hurt their feelings. In reality, this is keeping you both stagnant. You continue going out on the weekends with those friends that you cannot really rely on. You continue hanging out with the people that you feel you can’t actually vent to. You continue to stay at the job that makes you feel like you are enduring cruel and usual punishment. You continue to stay at the job because you need money. You continue to stay at the job because you feel unqualified for what you really want to do. You continue to stay at the job where you feel comfortable, that isn’t too bad, while you are still longing for more. We stay in the same situation out of FEAR. Why do you believe this is all there is? Why do you believe you couldn’t meet new people? Why do you feel unqualified? Why do you feel like money only can come through your current job? Why do you feel you stuck!? You feeling stuck is the reasoning for being stuck. Maybe you are remaining in a job or partnership that once brought you so much fulfillment or joy, and you continue to stay in hopes that this joy will return. However, you try everything you can think of and it still leaves you feeling less than and stuck. This is a sign you need to move on. The job, the relationship, the friendship, the house, whatever it is served it’s purpose in a period of your life and now it no longer is. You are being ushered to move forward but out of fear you cling to what is due to the fear that it will not be replaced with more. To remove fear you must run right into it. Dig deeper into the reason why you are really fearful of leaving the relationship, the job, the friendship, etc. Becoming more aware of the source, facing the truth, allows it to be accepted, and fear to no longer have power.
Discover Your Dreams
So your current life is lack luster and leaving you desiring more, but have you sat down with yourself to figure out what you DO want? We often have so much focus on what we do not want or do not like in our life that we do not ever actually focus on or allow ourselves to discover what we do want. Slow down and find time to sit down with yourself. Ask yourself what you do not like about your current situation and why. Then, ask yourself what kind of job would I enjoy? What am I interested in? What characteristics am I looking for in a career, in a relationship, in friendships. What is important to me? What is a deal breaker to me? Discover who you are. Discover what it is your inner world is craving. If there were no boundaries, no limits, no walls, what would your life look life? What would you do for a career? What kind of person would you be in a relationship with? What kind of friends would you have? How would you dress? How would you act? How would you carry yourself? Get clear on who it is you are being called to be. Then start integrating this into your life.
Align With Your Dreams
Maybe you start with an outfit that aligns with this you, you start hanging out in places where you think you’d find the ideal partner or friends, you branch out of your old reality and start visiting new places, dressing in new ways, and embodying this life as if it were already yours. Say you are currently in marketing working with a pharmaceutical company, but it is your ideal job to create jewelry. You’ve never tried because you were always told you’d never make money, there is already so many jewelry designers and brands out there, and “why you”? Start creating jewelry outside of your current job, invest in the supplies, carve out time on a regular basis, and give yourself the opportunity to dive into what you love. When you are incorporating something into your life that you feel called to and that you are passionate about it often seems to reward us in love and joy and the money is irrelevant. Once you become comfortable and fall into joy, you will find that your mind will shift from “why would it be me when there is already so much out there?” to “why not me!”. I often find that when we’ve suppressed these passions that are deemed “worthless” or “hobbies” we feel shame in sharing them, we fear putting it out there in public, we will be stuck in the passion closet so to speak. To create change you must break out of this. You are human, or at least if you’re reading this I would hope so, we were put on earth with specific gifts, talents, and passions to share, to connect, and create. Step out of the passion closet and begin to share your gift with the world. Using the example of jewelry, start making pieces for yourself, start wearing them in public, and start making them for friends and family as gifts. Once you become comfortable sharing with yourself and your inner circle, start sharing on your social media, create an Etsy, create a space to showcase your passion. You cannot create change without stepping out of your comfort zone, you cannot expect to be seen unless you make yourself seen, you cannot be chosen if you don’t chose yourself. So be confident in your creations, your passions, your gifts, your talents, in YOU. Once you’ve expanded yourself to the possibilities this could lead you to start finding others that have started from where you are, that have what you want, and have created the business, gotten the job, made the transition into their passion. We often want to be jealous of these people, envying how they were able to do what we wish we really could. However, change your mindset. These people are opening your mind, they are showing you that what you think is impossible, is possible. The ego might struggle with this, coming up with reasons why it worked for them and why it couldn’t work for you, financial status, living situation, etc. etc. but in reality those are just excuses keeping you small. You are not your mind, you need to retrain your mind. Start looking at these people that have what you want as proof that it is possible. Our minds often have a easier time grasping what is true for us and what we are capable of by seeing it in the real world. The more you see it, the more you believe it.
We often get tied up in the outcome of what we are wanting, our dreams, our hopes, our wishes. We get frustrated when we are going to all the new places and not meeting anyone. We get frustrated when we are making all the jewelry and we have yet to sell it at the level we envisioned, or maybe not at all. We are focused on what WE can get physically out of things too much in our world. When nothing materializes in physical form we get frustrated, fed up, and angry, or we focus on our desired outcome too much and want it too badly that we scare it away all together. So how do you remove the expectation, how do you stop obsessing over finding the right friends, partner, job? You relax. You have fun. The goal shouldn’t be the outcome it should be awakening to YOURSELF. The goal is to find happiness in your current reality regardless of whether you meet people right away or not, or whether the business takes off right away or not. This is NOT about the relationship, the friendship, or the job. Yes, you read that right. No it’s not about any of that, it is about YOU. Adding more to your life, the current life you already have. To wake up dancing not to get something out of it, but to purely bring happiness and love into your day. To give yourself time in the morning to enjoy something you love, FOR YOU. To venture into new places and change up your style, not to attract others, but for YOURSELF. This is all about the relationship you are cultivating with yourself. Sitting down and getting to know what you like and what you don’t like, is to take the space to get to know YOU so you can show up for YOURSELF. Incorporating something you are passionate about, that you love, something that you’ve always wanted to do is about YOU jumping and allowing yourself to move beyond the boundaries you’ve confined yourself to. Focus on cultivating a relationship with yourself, a mindset that benefits you, activities that nourish you, a style that makes you feel good no matter who is around or where you are going. Have fun with discovering yourself, bettering yourself, becoming this person not out of expectation but out of love for yourself. When you stop focusing on outcome and you dive into playfulness and your focus is on showing yourself love you’ll soon begin to realize people, relationships, opportunities will come to you like never before. You become a magnet for all your desires not by focusing on them, but by elevating yourself for yourself. So dive in get messy, have fun, play, dance, create, and laugh with yourself. When you change your inner reality your outer reality changes simultaneously.
Take control and unstuck yourself, you deserve it.