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Embrace the In-Between

Many of us felt the shifts over the weekend as we experienced the Full Moon Eclipse in Cancer, Uranus moving into direct motion, and Saturn-Pluto conjunction. Although, Saturn and Pluto did not move into exact conjunction until January 12th, 2020, they were in a 0.1 degree conjunction from Friday the 10th moving closer leading up to the 12th. Saturn and Pluto still remain in conjunction as we move throughout this week. What most do not take into consideration is that we have a moment where the two planets are completely at a 0.0 degree conjunction to one another, conjunction meaning the energies of the planets are conjoined together at a degree of no more than 8 degrees, and are in the same sign, but that conjunction still remains in influence beyond that 0 degree mark. This special conjunction between Pluto and Saturn is something that has not happened since the 1950’s. Pluto symbolizes the space or boundary between one life form and another and associated with rebirth. Pluto is the planet of death and rebirth; releasing, killing, purging what no longer resonates in order to unearth buried power and destined truths. Pluto is the great revealer where nothing can remain hidden. Saturn governs work, discipline, responsibility, and perseverance.

You may have been experiencing intense symptoms such has continued head buzzing, pressure, and pulsating. You may have felt extreme exhaustion as well as numbness, tingling, rashes, lack of appetite, nausea, sore/tight throat, depression, anxiety, insomnia, vivid intense dreams, illusions, and feeling as if you were dying. You may have felt as though you are stuck like nothing you do moves you forward and that things are at a standstill. You may have come into emotions from the past that were purged in deep intensity. You may find that if you reside with someone else that things were on edge and there was tension in the home. You may find that relationships and friendships merely dismantled overnight. You may be feeling a sense of helplessness and feeling as if you are completely alone. There can also be a lack of direction, lack of knowing, and lack of clarity. You may find yourself or you may have found yourself asking if everything you have been through up until this point has been worth it. You may find yourself questioning the decisions you have made and feeling as if you’re internal self doesn’t match the external reality you are experiencing. There is a sense of question of whether or not you wish to continue down the same path; it is as if everything you knew and everything you’ve known was unearthed from the ground up, now leaving you to question; Who am I now? Where do I go from here? What happens now? You may find that you are or were intensely frustrated and had anger arise from the fact that you feel as though you have surrendered so much, have given so much, have worked endlessly along this journey to see nothing in return. You may have found yourself wanting to isolate from society; too sensitive to be around others or to go out into the world. You may find that you are seeking a deeper meaning at this time. It is as if nothing you have been doing truly lives up to the destiny you feel within you; the purpose within you. You may find that you are more focused on your true life’s purpose now; really trying to grasp why you are really here and what you are here to do. You may have felt as though no one understands you, no one truly sees you, and no one truly is giving to you in the way you have given to them. There is an intense need for relationship at this time, for those who really see and understand you, who you are free to be your true self around, who see you clearly, and can walk with you during this journey. There has been a sense that everything that is not in alignment, everything that is not serving us, MUST go. This transcended most in terms of emotional self and our views on where we are at during this point in our life. You may found yourself overly critical of yourself, feeling as though you are not where you planned to be; you may find that you have retraced your life in your head and have been rethinking past decisions. You may find that emotional wounds surfaced, whether you were ready or not, and are continuing to unravel throughout the week. You may found that you were asked and are being asked to let go of relationships, jobs, friendships, projects, etc. that no longer are in alignment with where you are headed. You may have found and find yourself not able to go about life as you normally would. You may find that your view on the world and on life is changing in big ways; that you are more sensitive to the collective now. You may be feeling sorrow, grief, heartbreak, and pain for where we are as a collective, for where we have been as a collective, seeing so clearly the walls in which have created separation between us. You may find that you now see yourself more connected to the world and people around you in an intense way; experiencing pain for the earth when you witness pollution as if it were you, experiencing hurt for those who are experiencing hurt around you, passing “strangers” and seeing/feeling their emotions as if they were your own. You may have found that walking into a store, you can now sense the mass amounts of conditioning pushed on us on a regular basis; how we are controlled and bombarded with messages and this way in which we should be, what we should consume, and this idea that we are our materials. You may have been feeling bored, like your life hasn’t lived up to what you imagined it would be; there is a deep feeling of everything being cleared out but nothing coming in to take it’s place. It is as if we have cleaned house so that we are now standing in a empty house, feeling the echos of the hallow walls, the cold floors, and the solitude. Insomnia may be experienced during this time and waking up multiple times in the night. There could be an intense need to return to “normal” life, wishing to go back in time to old ways, and old relationships. Whatever emotions that have been hiding within you have been pushed out at an intense rate, ready or not, and have been felt within you. You may have found that people from your past appeared, once again, as a trigger. You may find yourself wanting to reinvent yourself entirely; to completely start new and recreate your life, your self, and what you look like now as you no longer resonate with who you have been, your style, your appearance, and maybe even your name. Additionally, you may find that rather than internal purging you were purging your material realm. You may find yourself deep cleaning your home, your space, your car, your room, etc. You may find yourself cleaning up your social media or taking a break from it all together during this phase. You may find that you see into the illusions of others moreso now and you find this false reality surrounding you. You are becoming less attached to clutter and chaos and more attuned to minimalism. Thus, there has been the desire to purge our external homes, spaces, and interactions much as we have been ushered internally during this phase. You may have begun to question your work and where it is going and if it best serves you; seeing clearly the inbalances within this realm at this time. You may find that you have quit your job abruptly and are now moreso committed and focused on uncovering a deeper sense of purpose in the world. You may find that you have experienced phantom heart attack symptoms including tingling and numbness down the arms into the hand, carpal tunnel pains, heart palpitations, intense chest pains, acid reflux, and burning sensations in the heart region. You may find that you have also been experiencing intense vertigo, dizziness, nasal congestion, eye pressure, head pressure, and neck tensions.The collective has received a massive heart opening an reintegration. Whatever was holding you back from fully loving, whatever was holding you back from experiencing love within yourself, whatever was not being loved within you, has surfaced now as a means of returning the pure state of the heart. Additionally, you could have experienced or be experiencing hip pain, groin pains, sciatica, low-back pain, numbness and tingling in the feet and lower legs, and a sensation as if you have literally been hit by a truck. There could be an intense hangover feeling moving through the rest of this week and feeling not fully present. There is a confusion of not knowing what way is up or what way is down at this time, and a feeling of surrender in the sense of being thrown to ground zero, but yet somehow having optimism. Time could feel strange and may have felt to be prolonged during this phase; feeling as though an hour is a day and two hours is several days. There is a sense of unknown in the air right now, not knowing where you stand, not knowing where to go from here, and not knowing which way you need to go. There is a lack of patience with some wishing to just go go go at this time, to move forward, to create everything now, and almost a fit being thrown when things do not happen instantaneously. Allow yourself to come into patience and acceptance of your current state and allow yourself to find patience for others during this time. We are at a crossroads and it seems we are standing with one foot in the past and one in the future, as we are asked to embrace the unexpected essence of now as we shift away from one life into the sense of a new one. You must make peace that you are not fully in either one at this time.

Many have been reflecting their experiences and creating an illusion of fear in the collective, be mindful of who you follow at this time. Everything that you feel that is not love is an illusion and every illusion you are shifting through is helping you take a step to return to love. Love is who we are at the source and our purpose is simply to create. We use our frequency to create in the world. We are nothing but energy at our true core, and the language energy speaks is, frequency. Your frequency then becomes the paintbrush for what you are creating within your experience and world. If you take in information that instills fear, it is an illusion that someone is choosing to create in the world, allow yourself to dismiss these people from your experience with love. If someone instills anxiety, pressure, anger, etc. it is all an illusion. Now is the time that we see beyond illusion and come back to the source of ourselves, love. This is a period of MASSIVE rebirth like we have never experienced before. Allow what does not instill and give love to fall away. We are now in a in-between phase, where we are not quite entered into a new way of being but not who we were. Life is not yet what we have dreamed but it is not where we were in our past. We are in a in-between phase, an integration phase. The Universe, God, whoever you prescribe to is a gentle force, caring for us, nurturing us, and it loves us. Within us is this source, during this time think of the collective and yourself as a newborn, healthy fats, lots of liquids, lots of patience, and rest are needed. Action is not required now; surrender is required now. Allow yourself to feed yourself internally and externally with what is calling you. If you do nothing and did nothing but sleep during this phase, allow no judgement. You must do what you feel you need during this phase as we integrate the new energy and allow the remnants of that purged to be released. Do not second guess yourself or your journey, you are exactly where you need to be. The truth is, if you were given everything you wanted right now in this very moment, would you be prepared for it? More than likely the answer is no. We are not energetically ready to receive all the external shifts just yet. Our source is loving and understands that we need time to rest to regain our strength, our power, our energy, to come back into this new sense of being before flinging us forward into the next. We have to allow ourselves the space to get to know who we are now in order to move forward. Allow yourself to live in this moment, allow yourself to breath and have gratitude for even the hardest of journey’s. Look at yourself, look at how you have handled these waves. Is this the same as you would have handled them in the past? Or has there been a shift? Have you seen less resistance in yourself? Look at you, look at how far you have come, look at how you are growing in this moment, look at how you can be torn down and recreated again and again anew. This is a gift. See the gift in this period. Allow yourself to see the clarity that you have been given during this phase. See who you really are, love. Love is the creator of everything it is the highest expression of who we are. Allow yourself to find love now even in the in-between. There is a surge of creativity and new opportunities that come to this space pulling us into a new direction, allow yourself to be in a state of receiving now. Embrace the in-between. This is all about bringing us back together, back into the essence of oneness, into love, into community. Allow yourself the space to be in this time, to feel into every little thing that wishes to rise within you, allow yourself to see others as you see yourself, allow yourself to rest.

If you feel called to work with me on a more personal, you can connect with me further here.

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